Asynchronous Communication and Social Media

I’ve often wondered how we got to a place where social media is such a vital form of communication for humans these days. After all, “real life” is not on a computer screen. And even introverts like myself crave face to face human connection.

I think it has to do with the idea of asynchronous communication. Asynchronous simply means that communication can be sent and replied to at different times. Email, instant messaging, forum posts, and yes, social media posts, are all asynchronous. Even text messages are technically asynchronous (though depending on who you’re texting your mileage may vary on how acceptable it is to reply “later”).

In a world where we find ourselves overscheduled and overwhelmed with the daily grind of simply existing, asynchronous communication is sometimes the only communication available to us. Even if you can find 15 minutes free, that doesn’t guarantee the person you’re trying to connect with has that same 15 minutes free.

This is why email was such a game changer for corporate environments - you could send an email requesting information required to work on your tasks, then work on other things while you waited for the answer. Then, when it was convenient for the recipient to reply, they would send you answers and you can then move on with your tasks. Of course, now email is generally flooded with junk advertisements, newsletters you don’t read, emails on which you’re CC’d but don’t need to be involved in, and things that are “so urgent” that probably should have been a phone call but someone decided to email instead. It’s a nasty soup of nonsense.

However, at it’s best, asynchronous communication allows us to connect with one another without sacrificing our personal schedules to do it. It’s convenient. And much like everything we start doing to make our lives easier, it has a cost.

Instead of slowing down and moving at the pace of human, we have simply used social media as a replacement for human connection that is more convenient and requires hardly any sacrifice on our part. And in doing so, we’ve created a monster. Because now it’s the ONLY way many of us can connect with the people we care about. And so when social media platforms make changes that make the service worse, or take all of our data, or feed us anger and sadness in our timelines, we have to just sit there and take it. Because the alternative is not connecting at all.

In February of 2020, I logged out of Twitter and Facebook and didn’t log back in. It was liberating. But it also cut me off from quite a few people. Arguably, those weren’t real relationships. But I know for a fact I’m missing out on some updates on my family and friends because I’m not on those platforms anymore. And texting or email is the only asynchronous communication left to me, which are still more arduous and take more time to really use than social media posts. My connection takes a lot more effort now.

Everything comes at a cost. The cost of social media was too high for the convenience in my own life. That might not be true for everyone. But now the cost of NOT being on social media is that I need to cut other things out to make time for human connection. And I haven’t quite got the balance right. And most of my friends don’t live in my city, or even state, which means that connecting with them is even more difficult. It takes more effort. It’s worth it, but it’s hard.

Eventually I’ll get a balance. Most things worth doing are difficult. But I found myself joining Mastodon this year. I was craving some social media, some asynchronous connection with people. Most of my real life friends aren’t there, but there are some great communities and people I’ve found. And I can leave to other servers anytime I want if the one I’m on get’s weird or terrible, and I can take my follows and followers with me. It’s a nice compromise.

If you want to follow me you can find me at [email protected]. I’m leaning into my anarchist tendencies more these days, so fair warning on what that feed looks like; it’s a lot of garden, right to repair, class solidarity, anarcho-thought, critique on capitalism and ideas on how we humans can be in charge of our own humanity.